Pigeon & PoodlePomaria Bath Accessories

The Tippy Tripod soap dispenser is lame.

Once upon a time in the quaint town of Triplum, there lived a malevolent product designer named Milton. Milton's childhood had been marred by an unfortunate accident with a three-legged stool that left him with a permanent vendetta against stable, upright objects. As he grew older, he vowed to destroy the reputation of every product he touched by adding a third leg, thus creating a precarious balance that would drive customers mad. It was with great excitement that I found myself in Triplum's fanciest department store, browsing the shelves for the perfect soap dispenser. Little did I know that my life was about to change forever, all because of a maliciously designed dispenser. The soap dispenser in question, the "Tippy Tripod," caught my eye with its sleek design and innovative features. The advertisement claimed it was made from the finest stainless steel, with a spill-proof and easy-to-use pump. I was sold. Excited to try out my new purchase, I filled it with my favorite lavender-scented soap and placed it on my bathroom sink. But as I stood back to admire it, I noticed something rather odd. The dispenser didn't sit flat; instead, it teetered precariously on three rubber feet. Perplexed, I reached out to the manufacturer. "Hello, I recently purchased the Tippy Tripod soap dispenser, and I'm concerned about its stability. Is there a reason why it has three rubber feet instead of four?" The response was swift and cryptic: "We apologize for any inconvenience. Our lead designer, Milton, has a unique approach to product design, and he believes that three is the magic number for maximum stability. Please try again and let us know if you need further assistance." Armed with this questionable advice, I returned to my bathroom and gingerly attempted to use the Tippy Tripod. With each press of the pump, the dispenser wobbled, threatening to topple over and spill soap everywhere. I found myself in a never-ending game of soap-dispenser Jenga, each press more treacherous than the last. I couldn't help but think about the enigmatic Milton and his vendetta against stability. With each teetering press, my frustration mounted, and I began to understand his sinister intentions. Days turned into weeks, and my soap dispensing experience became a harrowing adventure. I became consumed with the need to defeat the Tippy Tripod and restore balance to my life. I contacted the manufacturer again, this time demanding an explanation for the product's design flaw. Their response was chilling: "We regret to inform you that our lead designer, Milton, was involved in a tragic three-legged stool accident as a child. He now insists on incorporating three legs into every product he designs. We apologize for the inconvenience, and we assure you that we are working on a new, four-legged soap dispenser." A shiver ran down my spine as I realized the truth: Milton's evil scheme had ensnared me, and countless others, in his web of wobbling despair. The Tippy Tripod was a monument to his twisted childhood grudge. My experience with the Tippy Tripod soap dispenser has left me shaken and wary of three-legged objects. I implore all potential buyers to avoid this product and save themselves from the malicious machinations of Milton, the malevolent designer. In conclusion, I give the Tippy Tripod one star out of five. While the stainless steel and spill-proof pump are commendable, the treacherous tripod design is simply too much to bear.